food for thought: i think this salad sparked my creativity.
Today i felt this urge to create.To be perfectly honest, i've been pretty drained and uninspired for some time now. Sure, i get little surges of energy, photograph someone or something here and there...but the for the most part life has been largely sluggish.
This current state is probably due to the fact that change is looming very close and that my life is sick of hanging out in limbo land. i am planning to leave the cozy and warm womb of Chicago, my home for the past six years. It has been an incredible place to incubate. i've met some of the most amazing and wonderful people. My friends are on an unparalleled level of kindness, beauty, generosity, wit, and most importantly humour. Artists of all niches have swept swiftly in and out of my life, where as some have been decidedly camped out for the long haul. They have all branded me with such acute impressions and a better understanding of this modern diaspora we inhabit. So many positive experiences and memories here truly negate the minute less-than-perfect or desirable moments. Life is fleeting, nevertheless.
i have made the seemingly hasty decision to apply to teach in Korea for a year. The plan up until about a month ago was to move to the Bay Area. If things for some reason fail to come through, i still would like to continue my journey west. Then, the bug just bit me. i've never been back to the motherland [ha] and feel this intense geographical pull towards the far East [as we Westerners perceive it]. i believe that it will fulfill some unanswered questions and perhaps even quiet the ever-present voices of self-doubt...and maybe even focus me a bit in two directions, instead of the twenty-five i seem to be currently spinning in. That being said, i know that my journey there will be difficult and not without hardships. Being that i will look like everyone, [an experience that has evaded me pretty much since my arrival to the States as a baby] but speak minimal Korean [more Spanish than anything and that is just too much of a mindfuck for some people]...will provide a whole new set of isolating challenges. i can't let that fear and circumstance affect my decision. When i expressed this notion of not belonging to specific tangible culture...a dear friend countered me by suggesting maybe i fit ANYwhere; that my inherently strange cultural dichotomy should be looked at as completely positive and as an asset. Perhaps a Korean girl with a very Nordic name could really cultivate success and happiness from any corner of this boundless world.
i am not quite sure what i hope to gain from putting myself out into the vast landscape some refer to as the inter.web. i used to judge quite harshly those who "blogged." Good God, could there be anything more self-indulgent than putting your thoughts out there for the whole world to see? Well, the answer is still no- but i plan on doing it with a wry wit and minimal typing errors. i invite those who care to travel with me as i attempt to guide myself through the unsteady terrain of post.undergrad artschool life...and hopefully to a place half way around the world. Random musings, photographs [since i still don't have a website], music, videos and weekly grocery lists will probably be amongst the array of treasures sprinkled about the pages. i invite feedback, constructive criticism [since my school did a horrible job of providing this thanks to the timorous critique environment...NO, your photographs of horses are totally profound. Gold star for the day and a nice snack of graham crackers and chocolate milk await you too], verbal sparring of any sort, and anything else anyone has to offer. Hopefully, we can relate and understand one another a bit better, all while commiserating over this strange and challenging period of transition in our lives and a nice hot bowl of Ramen noodles.
Signing off for now.
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